Primary Madness, a commerical enterprise

There's lots of money being thrown around with all these primaries, and with the Writer's Strike making a mess of the usual mind-numbing crap offerings, there's no one happier than the state run media networks. No one needs any scripts because people messed all that up by showing up to vote in large numbers, so they have to improvise their obligatory Bushie ass-kissing.

And they can break into scheduled programming with something other than a terror alert being raised from yellow to holy fuck look at Dubya's sinking poll numbers, but still retain that same breathless tone of voice that makes old people's hearts beat a little faster and hopefully stay so terrifyingly elevated they'll all vote Republican.

But there's a variable among the polished turds that can't quite be swept under the rug and that's the glaring fact that most of the GOP candidates are loonier than shit. They hear voices telling them the end is near and we should all abandon our trailers and head for the big RV park in the sky with Jesus. If they were standing on a street corner in dirty, urine-stained clothes spouting this madness, we would shake our head and murmur about all the crazies on the street. But because they're dressed in suits and have corporate donors, all of a sudden they are not crazy, but instead are trans morphed into values-driven god fearing,bible thumping, flag lapel wearing presidential candidates.

There's people like McCain who was trashed by the very party he embraces as some traitor instead of the war hero that he was. But he continues to support and kiss their asses like some mindless automaton.

Of course, someone like Huckabee is the perfect candidate for those who don't think McCain is loony enough. Look for him to be marching around with his REPENT sign to a street corner near you very soon.

But of all the whole crazy ass stew that the GOP is offering its poor, bewildered supporters, none is more insane than Rudy "The Ghoul" Giuliani. Now there's a man who has no qualms about scaring little old ladies and the mentally deficient. One can only suspect from such behavior that he grew up practicing it on the same people for "late" payments on shady loans. If he ever comes close to winning a primary, maybe he should make his campaign slogan something catchy like "Vote for me or I'll break your fucking arm." And he could back it up by sending his VP who already has years of experience torturing people: Dick Cheney.

Just this short list of candidates is enough to make anyone holler in disbelief: "Republicans have the nerve to call Kucinich crazy????"

Primary Madness, a commerical enterprise