Sunday, January 27, 2008

Hey Bill, Go Bake Some Cookies!

We've all dated and/or married someone like Bill Clinton. He's the fun, charming heart breaker that we met at the party and ended up going home with for better or worse...mostly worse. But we don't hold any lingering resentments because that's just who he is, no one will ever change him, blah blah blah. We told ourselves that as we also vowed to never be taken in by him again.

But that being said, his speaking for Hillary is costing him the vote of every woman who had to deal with a husband/partner/date that just wouldn't let her speak completely for herself. He's the guy that calls himself a Feminist and yet interrupts the conversation of every woman he meets. He's the guy who has convinced himself he encourages women's ambitions, dreams, and desires and supports his partner's strengths and differing opinions.

He really believes this, until things start getting out of hand and the neat little ordered pile of delusions comes crashing down. Or when he disagrees over a strategy, idea, emotional reality, or campaign decisions. And then he just can't shut up. He's a veritable fountain of advice, criticisms, suggestions, and good ideas. He tells everyone who listens that yes he supports her, but she needs to do this and that. He goes on and on and doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. People make jokes about where the off button is and mostly they quit listening. He finds himself talking a lot to himself and to people who have perfected the hell-yeah-I'm-hanging-on-every-word facial expression as they mentally put together the grocery list.

Anyone who has spent any time relating to men like Bill will find some buttons pushed over how Bill stepped in and took over Hillary's campaign. Even if his motivation is that he cares so much for her that he doesn't want her to be hurt when someone doesn't vote for her, or he just knows her advisers are advising her wrong, or he has already won a couple elections himself, he just needs to stand silently and supportively beside her and let her run for President with whatever tools she has and with whatever advisers she has chosen for herself. He needs to be a good First Husband and have a killer cookie recipe on hand.

In fact, he needs to start right now, get in that kitchen and practice baking those cookies until they're perfect. Maybe by then women will have forgiven Hillary for letting Bill take over her campaign.

No comments: