Monday, February 27, 2006

I Am My Own Savage God(dess)

People often make the mistake of assuming that because I don't believe in a traditional theologically based spirituality that I am some kind of savage with no ethics, conscience or sense of morality. They could not be more wrong.

In many ways, I live under a spiritual code that is far stricter than those who believe something like god is going to come and whack them for their behavior. I know that no one except me is going to sit in judgment of my actions. I am my own critic. I have to answer only to myself. If I do something outside the realm of right and wrong, I have to answer to myself. I am a court of one and I have a solid core of ethical and moral laws that is often above and beyond that of the average person who believes god is going to get them.

For example, I suffer if I hurt anything, whether it is a bug or another human. This is because I don't believe I am better or worse than any other sentient being and because I allow myself to feel whatever I feel. I don't block it out by saying god will take care of it. What I feel and what I am is completely my responsibility. No one outside of me is going to take care of what I do and am.

I know there are bad people in the world. Don't mistake my compassion for a la-la-la type of unawareness of my world. On the contrary, I am very aware, sometimes too much aware, of what people are like and what they can do. My point here is that I cannot put myself in the position of being their judge. It is not my job. And since I also believe evil is a cumulative effect, I also don't want to pile more crap on the already tall mountain of bad things people do and say and feel about other human beings.

As far as spirituality, I don't think it is something that can only be practiced through organized religion or traditional deities. For me, nothing matches the heightened sense of being part of a greater whole than when I am out in Nature. I truly feel part of the whole, and isn't that what people seek when they speak to their own gods?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Love is a warm Kitty

I'm often surprised they haven't come for me yet. Or maybe the last few years of Bushit have so blurred the line between reality and hallucinations that we all walk around in an extended state of WTF about everything and everyone. I do believe that is what is called being close to godliness, right? And as an Atheist who believes that nature made me, I have to agree that we all come back as something, specifically...fertilizer of the kind that grows fantastic roses. If we must have a purpose, let it be that.

And I'm convinced that we are living and breathing everyone who every lived, and that our fate is to become what they are: dust mites. It is the only reason that dust mites persist, no matter how much we try and get rid of them. And the very evolved, the truly deserving of benefitting from something called the afterlife, why, that would be cockroaches. When I gaze into the eyes of a cockroach, I just know I am gazing into the eyes of god. And I can't help but wonder, how did we go so wrong?