That Prop 8 vote...

I don't understand most hate. I'm just not the kind of person who wastes what I feel on such a non-productive emotion. I'm always slightly embarrassed for the person who goes off on some tirade that turns them red and livid and bordering on the edge of stroking out from it all. It seems so futile, so low on the list of ways to accomplish something or change an event or manifest what it is that eludes you so completely you must hate all those who keep it from you, justified or not.

I admit to a feeling of bewilderment, of not understanding what it is that people who object to same-sex marriage are objecting to. It seems simple to me. Two people discover they love each other and want to have a party where everyone comes and joins in the celebration of their love. It happens every day all over the world. Why does their being gay make a difference?

And yes, I've heard all the religion arguments and it's probably because of such self-serving interpretation of words written many years after the fact by those with their own agendas to push, that I am an Atheist. Religion has always fed on hate to perpetuate itself, especially in times when it felt threatened. And the last eight years of religious manipulation for political gain has probably created more Atheists than believers so the beast is threatened. And it strikes back to perpetuate itself.

But this time it has stepped on its own tail. Not only has the validity of the initiative process been validated, but so has the legality of voting in a specific agenda based on the small-minded and cruel beliefs of religious cults. This has opened a very wide door that will be shoved open with great force, exploited and trashed for points and counterpoints, and will eventually force a definition of who gets to decide how someone else lives--and why they should have that right over someone other group or individual.

Therefore to help speed up that process so we don't have to endure anymore religious crap wrapped around bundles of bigotry and hate and obscenely paraded as the word of god, I propose the following initiatives for the people of California to consider gathering signatures for and getting on the ballot and then turning out in huge numbers to vote for them:

1.  Make all marriages performed in churches illegal. If churches can decide which civil marriages are valid or invalid, then the people should have the same right to decide if church weddings are legal or illegal.

2.  Make divorce illegal. Force those who bleat about the sanctity of marriage to stay married to each other. No escape. For eternity. That means you, Mel Gibson and Newt and Rudy all the other hypocrites. No new bimbos. Marriage is, after all, sacred and we say so, therefore you must obey whether you agree or not. You must now go back to your original wives...forever. And ladies, you have to take them back because chances are you don't differ that much from them politically so you deserve them.

3. Any church that preaches politics, hatred, and intolerance immediately loses its tax-exempt status and must register as a PAC.

4. Before anyone can get married, a percentage of people based on the number that voted in the last election, get to vote on whether they can get married or not.

5. Make it mandatory that anyone who brings up the Bible as an excuse to justify their bigotry has to sit down and actually read it for themselves, every damn word, every damn page. No unholy intermediaries putting their political spin and manipulation on it.  And if they can't read? Well, then they'll just have to put off using the Bible as an excuse until they learn how.

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That Prop 8 vote...

An Open Letter To President Obama

Dear Mr. President:

I followed the story of your grandmother with heartfelt interest because mine was also a huge influence on me. She was the one constant in a dysfunctional family with a father who was absent most of the time and a mother who worked all of the time. As the oldest child it often fell to me to take care of my younger brother and sister and the household too, especially since my grandmother was already a senior citizen when she came to live with us.

My grandmother immigrated to America a couple years after we did. It took that long to save the money to sponsor her, and during that time she struggled to survive until we could send for her. As I was growing up, she was my support, my encouragement, my source of hope. And she had endless stories of what it was like to live through two world wars, how she managed to stay on the safe side of political struggles that redefined the boundaries of her home every few years, and all the ways she escaped the horrors of the Nazis and the Fascists.

But there was one story I did not learn until after her death, and it was about one of her sisters who remained behind. In retrospect, she probably suspected her sister was a Lesbian, but in the period of time that extended from the turn of the century through the 1960's, it was not a topic one discussed lightly in any of her homes: the former Yugoslavia, Italy, or the United States. But it is a story that haunts me because it is one that is far too common even today.

My grandmother's sister lived with her partner for most of her adult life. I can only imagine what it was like to live openly with her "roommate" all those years. I'm sure they had friends. I'm sure her partner had family. But we never knew any of them. We never knew if she was safe, if she was fed, if she was afraid. She disappeared into a world where secrets are kept for life. She disappeared into a world where it was impossible to immigrate as her sister had done, as just about everyone who was related to her had done. She was left alone with only the woman she loved, a woman we could never bring here because she was not related to us by blood. In the eyes of the law, she was not family, no matter how many years she lived with my grandmother's sister as her life partner. The law would let us bring her but not the woman she loved. The law would make her abandon her partner. She chose the path of her heart and stayed behind.

I think of what my life could have been like with more than one granny, more than one adult who could nurture me, who could help me grow, or who could just help me in the many small ways that left me exhausted when I should have been playing with all the other kids. And I think of how lonely my grandmother's sister was when her partner died, how alone she must have felt. I can't even think of this without breaking into tears. I can't even begin to comprehend the unfairness of it in any way that would sense.

Mr. President, I tell you this story because this story is still being played out all over the world. I have American friends who are gay, who fell in love with citizens of other countries. In so many cases these other countries have afforded them citizenship rights and recognized the legality of their marriages. I have friends who have lived in other countries with their partners for many years and now they want to come home to the America that has new promise, new hope because of your Presidency.

But in order to do so they still have to make the choice my grandmother's sister had to make. I want to believe we are a better people than that time. I want to believe that we no longer split up families, people who love each other because of bad laws. But all the evidence says we still do and will continue to do so.

That's why I'm asking for your help in passing the UNITING AMERICAN FAMILIES ACT. It's time to bring home your citizens who want to help make America realize it's true potential as a beacon of hope and promise to the rest of the world. They want to be part of what we're creating together. But please, Mr. President, don't make them choose between love of country and love of their partners. Please help pass this vital piece of legislation for all Americans, no matter what their sexual orientation.

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An Open Letter To President Obama

Overturn Proposition 8

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Let me put this in terms that just about any moron can understand: proposition 8 was not about gay marriage; it was about voting to take away one group's civil rights. It wasn't even about marriage. All legal marriages are civil marriages. If you get married in a church without that official STATE license you have to fill out, sign, pay your fee and send back to the STATE, then you are not legally married.

Proposition 8 was a church-funded assault on the civil liberties of one select group of citizens and their right to engage in a civil ceremony. It was bigotry and hatred on a scale that brings shame on these churches for even invoking the name of Jesus.

Where in those damn holy books does it say one group of human beings should be denied a civil ceremony because of someone else's religious beliefs? And why are churches who politicize the pulpit allowed to keep their tax-exempt status? When they take funds from their donors/congregations for influence peddling and election tampering then they are officially PAC's and need to register as such. And they need to pay taxes on the money they raised for political actions because it sure as hell isn't going to help the poor and hungry.

And let me put this another way that just about any moron can understand. My grandmother's sister was a Lesbian. She was born in the late 1800's and lived with her partner in Italy for their entire adult lives. They were two women who shared a home for decades. And not even their own families knew they were a couple, knew they were part of an enduring life-long relationship they had to live in secret.

And when my grandmother's sister died the secret some had suspected was revealed in the lone photograph of her lover, the woman she shared her entire life with. We don't know her name. We don't know how and when she died. We don't know if at that time and place, close friends were allowed to be with each other when the other died. We don't know if it was as it is in so many hospitals here that only one's "legal" family can be with the dying patient, no matter how many years they shared, how much they loved one another, how lonely they must die without the presence of the other.

How can a church justify this kind of sorrow, this kind of heartache and loneliness? How can its congregation think such pain, such despair is approved by their precious Jesus? Will someone please explain to me how hate came to mean love and how tolerance came to mean interfering in someone else's right to the same rights as every one else? And if you can, then maybe I will understand why so many thought it was acceptable to hurt so many in the name of their god. If they think that's okay, then maybe they need a new god.

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Overturn Proposition 8

Why Isn't Sarah Palin Pregnant?

Sarah Palin is a member of Feminists for Life who share the view of extreme fetus-fanatics that birth control is a form of abortion.

"Today, pro-life groups in the U.S. are reclassifying the most common contraception methods, including the birth control pill, the patch, the IUD and the depo-shot, as “abortifacients,” claiming, with no scientific backing, that they cause abortions. On their website, Feminists for Life classifies emergency contraception as an abortion method. If this were true, Feminists for Life should also classify 40 percent of all birth control methods as abortion methods because they all have the same mode of action as emergency contraception. Feminists for Life's colleague, the American Life League, shares this view explaining, “We have been working to prove that prescription contraceptives have nothing to do with women's health and well-being but are recreational drugs that prevent fertilization and abort children.” Northern Kentucky Right to Life will only endorse candidates who believe the use of the standard birth control pill constitutes abortion. Most chillingly, Army of God, a pro-life organization that lists those who murder abortion providers as “heroes,” also classifies birth control as an abortion method. On the “Birth Control is Evil” section of their website they explain, quite threateningly, “Birth control is evil and a sin. Birth control is anti-baby and anti-child…Why would you stop your own child from being conceived or born? What kind of human being are you?”" read more

So, either Ms. Caribou Barbie is following the tenets of abstinence only that her daughter failed to heed, or she is using birth control. Which is it?

And for those who think it is nobody's business, then why is it okay for Palin and others who believe as she does that it's okay to legislate what goes on in the bedroom of homosexuals? If they get their heads out of other people's sex lives, then I will too. But as long as they continue to try and define what is normal sex and with whom, then it's only fair that questions about Ms. Moose's potential use of birth control pills, condoms, or other "unnatural" methods to avoid pregnancy is a question she needs to answer, especially if her beliefs lead to a ban on these methods should the unspeakable happen and she is put in a position to enforce her insane views.

So, Governor...how come you ain't pregnant?


Technorati Tags: Sarah Palin, abstinence only education, anti-birth control, Feminists For Life, Religious extremism

Why Isn't Sarah Palin Pregnant?

Only when it's someone else's bedroom

If the Republican party still had a few delusions left that it could draw anything to it but rightwing crackpots, it threw those to the hurricane strength winds driving their karma up the gulf when it started screaming about the "liberal media" going after Palin's daughter. read more

First of all, Ms. Palin of the multiple investigations into your sleazy life, when you make it your business what everyone does in the privacy of their bedrooms and try and cram your abstinence only crap down people's throats, your daughter's oopsie pregnancy is news because it points out the failures of that policy.

Second of all, it's only a "liberal media" because someone other than Fox News or Rush Limbaugh or anyone of your toadies is focusing on one of your own instead of Bill Clinton, John Edwards, or any other Democrat caught in a sex scandal. If you really want to get nasty, how about trying to explain why all the Republican scandals involve little boys and girls and the Democrats involve consenting adults. Really, the liberal media all over the world would like to hear you answer that question.

But I suppose you're too busy to answer that one as it takes a lot of time to peep inside the bedrooms of Gays and Lesbians, time that would be better spent teaching your daughter how to prevent an unwanted pregnancy rather than remembering how to keep her legs together and hollering for Jesus to help her resist those raging hormones.



Technorati Tags: Sarah Palin, Liberal Media Bias, Republican convention, failed Republican policies, perverts, Bristol Palin, baby daddy

Only when it's someone else's bedroom

Del Martin

For those of you who somehow missed hearing or reading about Del Martin, here's a synopsis of her remarkable life.

"Del Martin, a lesbian rights pioneer who took part in one of California's first same-sex weddings, died today in San Francisco after a long period of declining health. She was 87." read more

This amazing woman and her partner Phyllis had a very large impact on my life. It started with my grandmother's sister who was a Lesbian in Italy. She was born somewhere before the turn of the century in Yugoslavia. I can't imagine how difficult it was to have anything like a normal life in that part of the world at that time. And yet she did, and lived with her partner until death parted them. I know that my grandmother didn't really know until she was at least in her 70's and 80's and even then it was something impossible for her to wrap her brain around. It was easier for my mother to understand and accept. Recently, one of my cousins is trying to track down the her partner's family because through our grandmothers, we are connected and that needs to be acknowledged, their love and commitment for each other needs to be acknowledged.

It was for my grandmother and also one of my cousins that I am grateful for Del Martin's responsibility for getting the American Psychiatric Association to stop classifying homosexuality as a mental illness.

I also owe her for being one of the fortunate few who broke the chain of domestic violence in our relationships. My mother was often severely beaten and abused. Del Martin's work to publicize domestic violence opened the door to women like me being able to walk away from a relationship that had the potential for violence. Through her I knew I deserved better than the hell my mother endured. And through her courage in speaking out to all women in similar situation I was able to break that chain.

As one of the many people who attended far too many memorial services in the 80's for friends who died of AIDS, I saw my share of life partners denied those precious final moments at the bedside of those they loved before they passed away. Del Martin's work to change this horrible tragedy allowed life partners to share in all aspects of their loved one's lives and deaths. It allowed them to marry in California and the day it became legal to do so, she and Phyllis married as did many of my friends who live in the Bay area.

So thank you Del Martin from this straight woman who owes you so much. You will be sorely missed, but what you leave behind will continue to heal and inspire people for generations to come.Technorati Tags: Del Martin, Gay Marriage, Lesbian, Domestic Violence, Equality

Del Martin

Jesus Hates You

Hate always confuses me, especially the kind of hate that doesn't have any personal experience to back it up but instead relies on someone whose business is hate mongering disguised as religion. I really sincerely doubt that cretin, Fred Phelps, has ever come close enough to a gay person to even recognize him or her as a human being, just as I doubt he ever learned to read well enough to understand the message of Jesus which I'm told is all about love. I've yet to see it in action, but I'm told it's about love.

And don't get me wrong here. I'd really really, double and triple really like to see this so-called Love Jesus do a smack down of these morons that spread hate, fear and intolerance in his name. I'd even make a sincere effort to believe he was more than an ancient version of the tooth fairy if only he'd come and make haters like Phelps walk around with a sign around his neck saying "Jesus is making me wear this because I'm an evil asshole who twisted his message of love around to suit my own financial gain." I'd like to see Jesus make people like Phelps get a real job and quit profiting from the ignorance of people like himself who live in fear of anything called education or truth.

Most of all I'd like to get religion out of people's private bedrooms. There's lots of free porn on the 'net if you can't afford to buy it, but quit getting off on making it your business what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms. Once upon a time it was considered rude, insensitive and just plain twisted to obsess on the private sex lives of others. Now it's a national pastime whipped into a religious fervor by churches who obviously skipped over that inconvenient Jesus equals Love and Tolerance part of the Bible.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the fight to allow same-sex marriages. And nowhere is the violation of church and state prohibitions more evident than in this area of people's personal lives. To those who think they should have a say in who should marry, I'd like to remind them it is not Jesus or the church of their choice who legally marries them. It's that piece of paper you sign and turn in with your fees. And guess what, most don't accept checks, so you'd better pay up in cash before you start getting the party started.

Jesus has nothing to do with that. It's not his hand at the city's window going that'll be cash only please. It's all state business and therefore should be free of religious and personal biases. You think I'm wrong? Try getting legally married with just a church service. You'd be living in sin and popping out bastards faster than you can holler Hallelujah I'm an ignorant asshat if you tried to do that.

But that's all paperwork and legal details, something the religious haters prefer to ignore if it doesn't suit them. They would much rather make up crap and throw around ridiculous terms such as "gay agenda" and "special rights." It's easier than reading the law or actually meeting and talking to a gay human being.

So, let's talk about those special rights, shall we? First of all, marriage as we know it is a relatively modern institution, especially LEGAL marriage, the one requiring a license. Few people know that license was devised to prohibit interracial marriage. Here's an excellent article that discusses it in great detail. This is a direct quote from that article "...miscegenation laws were in effect for nearly three centuries, from 1664 until 1967, when the U.S. Supreme Court finally declared them unconstitutional in the Loving decision."

I personally find it very interesting and sad that the same language used by those opposed to gay marriage is almost the same argument down to the hate-filled accusations used by those who didn't want human beings of different races and cultures to legally marry. When it comes down to it, hate is hate, intolerance is intolerance, and ignorance is ignorance, no matter what kind of Jesus love you sprinkle on it.

Marriage, when you remove the religion and politics from it is about love and that's all it ever should be about. If you love each other then you have the right to get married the same as everyone else, no matter if you're blue, green, gay or Fred Phelps. The rest is just plain damned ignorance and hatred that Jesus, if you believe in him, is going to make your ass pay for one of these days. You can deny it all you want, but one day you're going to have to justify your hatred and it ain't going to be pretty to watch you lose the meanest argument in the entire universe.

Having said all that, I'd like to offer my sincere congratulations to my dear friends Andrew and Jason who are getting legally married next month. They asked me to make them some t-shirts and gifts for their wedding rehearsal, dinners, and honored attendants. It's the most fun I've had in a long time designing stuff because it all came from my heart. If you're interested in seeing it and buying some of the for your own wedding and for gifts for the brides and grooms and their honorable helpers, here's the url to my designs in My Holiday Shop.

Jesus Hates You

Larry Craig Is Not Gay

Larry Craig Is Not Gay