Monday, February 04, 2008

The Art of War In The Arena

I've never been one of those people whose life revolved around a sports identity. It's true that I enjoy a good sporting event in the same way that one enjoys watching two sets of ants battle for territory, but the emotional involvement just isn't there for me. However, if it became more like politics where a representative from each side was offered as the potential sacrifice, I think my interest would increase.

I'd pay good money to see the losing side get eaten by the winners, and I'm willing to bet that politics would become far more interesting and draw huge groups of voters hoping to see the losing side get eaten by the winners if it was extended to politicians.

I know that huge crowds would pay to watch Ghouliani roast up on a spit as the grease splattered into the flames and created a huge backdrop of smoke and flames with some dramatic military music playing in the background, and maybe a siren or two.

There could be categories such as Huckabee Shepherd stew for all the bible-thumping illiterates, but it would have to be highly seasoned because the flavor would be dull as the meat would be mostly pale, white, and lacking in muscle tone.

Or how about skewered pig meat that would consist of fleshy chunks of bitter and nasty hate radio host heavily salted to keep the flesh from rotting too quickly from the bile sauce. Just as the stench of certain cheeses become their signature flavor, so too could this Rovian pig meat stew feed those who would elevate holding their noses while they ate into a lock-step agreement that it really didn't taste all that bad if you really believed it tasted good.

Of course, no meal would be complete without troll barbecue made from those poor Rapture expecting trailer denizens who wait for either a hurricane or Jesus to free them from their misery, and who spend their time leaving comments about Clinton and the red scare in language taken straight from an old propaganda poster on liberal blogs.

Dessert would have to be McCain crazy cake liberally dosed with fruits and nuts, kind of like of a fruitcake left too long in the cupboard and then taken out to run for President one more time. No one would actually eat it but everyone would make rude jokes about it.

And there could always be the ceremonial canning and burying of the fetid remains of the Bush administration. No one would eat any of it because it would be too toxic, too vile, and cause intense diarrhea for generations to come.
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2 comments:

AmericanGoy said...

"When millions of dollars are required to even run for office you're going to get candidates who are groomed and coached to keep those donations coming in. Before the "internets" it was easy to say one thing in one town and another in a different town. Now we get their bought and paid for sales pitches in real time.
Nd no matter who the candidate is, they're not talking to us when they speak. They're talking to the big bucks donors who pay them to spread their message. Who gives Hillary money to say Cuba is bad? Who gives Huckabee money to promote one religion over any other? Who gave Bush money to lie us into war with Iraq?
It's always the money talking and never the candidate. So when you vote, you're essentially voting for one set of lobbyists over another...or sadly, the same lobbyists who have a horse in all the races.
All the quacking on tv, the papers, and even most of the blogs are to delude us into thinking we have a choice, because we're so easy to get emotionally stirred up in one direction or another."

Brilliant.

I keep finding that real thought is put into the smaller blogs' posts - as the A-list blogs are bought and paid for by the same interests that "sponsor" the politicians.

There are some issues that the A-list blogs will not touch, and if you dare post a diary about them will be called names, etc.

Example: Daily Kos now and their view to not allowing any "conspiracy theories" dealing with Diebold machines' facts.

mishkabear said...

Well, isn't ALL of politics one big conspiracy theory? Politicians aren't mushrooms. They're the spores gathered and scattered by windbags so that the others, of which we are fortunate to be among, can continue to believe we have a choice far larger than it actually is.