I've never been one of those people whose life revolved around a sports identity. It's true that I enjoy a good sporting event in the same way that one enjoys watching two sets of ants battle for territory, but the emotional involvement just isn't there for me. However, if it became more like politics where a representative from each side was offered as the potential sacrifice, I think my interest would increase.
I'd pay good money to see the losing side get eaten by the winners, and I'm willing to bet that politics would become far more interesting and draw huge groups of voters hoping to see the losing side get eaten by the winners if it was extended to politicians.
I know that huge crowds would pay to watch Ghouliani roast up on a spit as the grease splattered into the flames and created a huge backdrop of smoke and flames with some dramatic military music playing in the background, and maybe a siren or two.
There could be categories such as Huckabee Shepherd stew for all the bible-thumping illiterates, but it would have to be highly seasoned because the flavor would be dull as the meat would be mostly pale, white, and lacking in muscle tone.
Or how about skewered pig meat that would consist of fleshy chunks of bitter and nasty hate radio host heavily salted to keep the flesh from rotting too quickly from the bile sauce. Just as the stench of certain cheeses become their signature flavor, so too could this Rovian pig meat stew feed those who would elevate holding their noses while they ate into a lock-step agreement that it really didn't taste all that bad if you really believed it tasted good.
Of course, no meal would be complete without troll barbecue made from those poor Rapture expecting trailer denizens who wait for either a hurricane or Jesus to free them from their misery, and who spend their time leaving comments about Clinton and the red scare in language taken straight from an old propaganda poster on liberal blogs.
Dessert would have to be McCain crazy cake liberally dosed with fruits and nuts, kind of like of a fruitcake left too long in the cupboard and then taken out to run for President one more time. No one would actually eat it but everyone would make rude jokes about it.
And there could always be the ceremonial canning and burying of the fetid remains of the Bush administration. No one would eat any of it because it would be too toxic, too vile, and cause intense diarrhea for generations to come.