Monday, February 27, 2006

I Am My Own Savage God(dess)

People often make the mistake of assuming that because I don't believe in a traditional theologically based spirituality that I am some kind of savage with no ethics, conscience or sense of morality. They could not be more wrong.

In many ways, I live under a spiritual code that is far stricter than those who believe something like god is going to come and whack them for their behavior. I know that no one except me is going to sit in judgment of my actions. I am my own critic. I have to answer only to myself. If I do something outside the realm of right and wrong, I have to answer to myself. I am a court of one and I have a solid core of ethical and moral laws that is often above and beyond that of the average person who believes god is going to get them.

For example, I suffer if I hurt anything, whether it is a bug or another human. This is because I don't believe I am better or worse than any other sentient being and because I allow myself to feel whatever I feel. I don't block it out by saying god will take care of it. What I feel and what I am is completely my responsibility. No one outside of me is going to take care of what I do and am.

I know there are bad people in the world. Don't mistake my compassion for a la-la-la type of unawareness of my world. On the contrary, I am very aware, sometimes too much aware, of what people are like and what they can do. My point here is that I cannot put myself in the position of being their judge. It is not my job. And since I also believe evil is a cumulative effect, I also don't want to pile more crap on the already tall mountain of bad things people do and say and feel about other human beings.

As far as spirituality, I don't think it is something that can only be practiced through organized religion or traditional deities. For me, nothing matches the heightened sense of being part of a greater whole than when I am out in Nature. I truly feel part of the whole, and isn't that what people seek when they speak to their own gods?

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